Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
