how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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