I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
