I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
