my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
high people should be assigned attendants
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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