I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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