I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
