Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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