This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
