yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Randomize
