a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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