so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just puked most of my soul out..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
