How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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