She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
