dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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