Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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