Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
