He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
