Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
