Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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