suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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