we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
