Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
