I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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