I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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