Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
