So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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