im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
