i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
