butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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