You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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