Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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