3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
