I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
