could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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