he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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