Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
