Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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