thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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