He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
