Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
