haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
