so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
