If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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