I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
