We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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