Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
