I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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