why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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