You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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