what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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