Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
