Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
