I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is Oprah even human
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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