It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
