All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize