He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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