I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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