I didn't shave. On purpose
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
