So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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