Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
