Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
