Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
