OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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